Sunday, October 30, 2005

Week 8 brought to you by.....Shakira


We would like to thank Shakira for the
last minute picks. Reached, via phone,
from her hotel room in Buenos Aries, the
stunning blonde had the following to say...

We understand you received a phone call at
about 4am, did you have any objections to such
an early call regarding something as trivial as
SGFFL week 8 ?

"Ay ay ay "

Do you follow the SGFFL regularly ?

"Ay ay ay "

Hmm, we here you really like your new song "La Tortura"

"Ay ay ay"

You have a nice ass

"Ay ay ay"

O.K., Well we thank you for spending a few minutes with us, but we need to go....

"ay ay ay
Oh after all I've done for youIt was such a torture to lose youIt hurts me so that it's like this"

umm, o.k. well we better go....will be looking for your new videos....

"Keep on crying sorryI…I'm not goingTo cry over you"

VooDoo -1 AC
can't go against americas' team !
Saldi


------------------------------------------
Bunnies -7 Avon
I like to piss jason off, take the rats


--------------------------------------------
Vikings -19 Eagles
Eagles 6-1 and giving them 19. Take the upset


-------------------------------------------
Stunts -36 WEP
Can't go against the Stunts, they will be 8-0 at days end

---------------------------------------------

Wiz -6 CherryDale
This is redemption weekend for Cherry, after feeling slighted by a non-tradelook for Cherry to put the whoopin on em.



-------------------------------------------
Dolphin -23 Rolfe
Fear Flipper ? Not hardly, howevera bi-week for the Colts means Rolfeis in T.R.O.U.B.L.E
Phins -23


-----------------------------------------

Yandle -13 CPU
I like a stunning upset...no pun intendedfor the cunts.
CPU
------------------------------------------


FLIES -4 Where in the world is Ian
Carmen Sandiego can't even find this guy,give me the "invisible guys"


-----------------------------------------

Thursday, October 20, 2005

WEEK 7 PICKS FROM ROSE


HERE WE GO, STR8 TO IT !

CADFLY + 3 vs VOODOO

BECAUSE THEY ARE AMERICA'S TEAM, AND BECAUSE THEY ARE
FAVORED...AND PLUS, I PLAY A WITCH ON THE WB.....

VOODOO
===================================================
SPOON - 25 vs BUNNIES

GIVING THE "RATS" 25 IS ALLOT....LETS GO WITH WHAT
WITCHES BREW....

BUNNY
===================================================
ROLFE - 5 vs EAGLES

A LITTLE PINCH OF EDGE, LITTLE PINCH OF MANNING...
STIR THE POT....HARD TO PASS ON EM
EDGE AND MANNING, HARD TO GO AGAINST....

ROLFIE

====================================================
VIKING -15 vs DOLPHINS

BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE ? RAPE AND PLUNDER TEAM
AFTER TEAM ?? COUNT ME IN BABY

VIKING
================================================


LEGIONS -19 vs AC

GIVE AC CREDIT FOR TRADING TRADING TRADING..TO GET
BETTER. BUT WHO ARE HIS RB'S ??

19 IS TO MUCH THOUGH....AC +19
===================================================

AVON -1 vs CHERRYDALE

CURTIS MARTIN IS GOING TO SCORE 83 PTS....ACCORDING TO
JASON, SO ....LET DRINK THE COOL AID...

AVON GIRLS -1
================================================

LORETTO -3 vs CASEY YANDLE


I AM GOING TO GO AGAINST EVERY OTHER WOMAN WHO HAS
BEEN PICKING GAMES....GIVE ME CASEY, I JUST REFUSE
TO LET HIM BEAT US AGAIN

YANDLE +3

Hollywood Bad Girl named week 7 Pick'em Girl


Rose McGowan, hollywood bad girl has been named this weeks pick'em girl.

Seen here at a Thursday night press confrence, Rose spoke about the honor.

"I am looking forward to having fun with this" "This kinda reminds me of my days with Marylyn Manson, just a looney fun time"

A brief biography about Rose,

Rose was born on September 5, 1973 in Florence, Italy. Her mother was American, her father was Irish. She was the second oldest of six children and moved to the USA at age 9. She later ran away to Los Angeles.....
Once she finally made it, she met shock-rocker Marilyn Manson aka Brian Warner...to whom she was formerly engaged.

Protest Filed


Cherrydale Team Officials lodge formal protest after an apparent trade was overturned by SGFFL League management.

"I was offered a trade, accepted the trade... then was told the trade was rescinded" Dave Navarre, team president replied. "I suppose my name came to pass....we were Jobbed !" "And I really don't care if the commissioners office fines me for those comments. Why is this the only trade that has been accepted then reversed ?"

When reached for comment Britt Taylor, League commissioner had these words "it was an clerical error, an oversight, something that was done without my approval" "I had no option but to make this decision after guys at the office started teasing me"

Playoff Rankings

FOR WEEK 6 ENDING, IF THE PLAYOFFS WERE TODAY.
YOUR SEEDING WOULD BE,

#1 VIKINGS
#2 ITsINTheGame
#3 WellEndowed
#4 EAGLES
# 5 CUNNINGSTUNT
#6 CAROLINA WIZARD
#7 CAROLINA AVON
#8 VOODOO

WEEK 6 PICKEM GIRL DEMI MOORE-KUTCHER 3-5
Last Week 4-4 FOR CHARLEZE
PUTS THE GIRLS AT 27-21

Thursday, October 13, 2005

THE PICKS


Demi adds her flavor to the SGFFL Pick 'ems

IAN - 3 vs. VooDoo

Coach Ratings; Win/Loss

IAN 16TH 0-5
VooDoo 6 TH 1-4

So 3 point favorite, this could become as ugly as
striptease reviews. Give me my man baby....
VooDoo +3
====================================

Wizard -14 vs AVON

SPOON 15 TH 4-1
CAL 4TH 3-2

FOURTEEN IS AN AWFUL LOT OF POINTS, PLUS
THIS IS THE SECOND WORST COACHED TEAM.
IT'S SORT OF LIKE WHEN I WAS ENGAGED TO EMILO
ESTEVEZ...DIDN'T KNOW THAT HUH...YOU KNOW THE
NAME BUT WHAT HAS HE REALLY DONE ? KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.

AVON +14
===================================

BUNNIES - 8 vs CHERRY

BUNNIES 2ND 2-3
CHERRY 5TH 0-5

DID YOU KNOW I PRODUCED "AUSTIN POWERS" ?
YEA BABY, IF CHERRY KEEPS BIG BEN IN THE LINEUP
ITS OVA'

BUNNIES -8
===================================

DOLPHINS +9 vs EAGLES

EAGLES 13TH 4-1
DOLPHINS 12TH 4-1

THAT RECEIVING CORE OF THE EAGLES IS AS SCARRY
AS THE THOUGHT OF ME BEING ATTRACTED TO
ASHTON.....just to make bruce mad by the way.......

EAGLES -9

=====================================

VIKINGS -19 vs ROLFE

VIKINGS 1ST 2-3
ROLFE 11TH 1-4

BACKFIELD OF SOOTH's CREW LOOKS AS GOOD AS
MINE IN striptease

======================================

AC -14 vs FLIES

FLIES 14TH 3-2
AC 7TH 3-2

VINNY, RHODES....IN THE BACKFIELD STARTING ?
Wait, weve been punked right ?

AC -14
=======================================

WEPS -16 vs CPU

WEPS 8TH 1-4
CPU 9TH 3-2

AFTER LOOSING TO AMERICA's TEAM WEP WILL
TRY TO PICK UP WIN TWO. THIS IS BE AS EASY
AS I WAS IN INDECENT PROPOSAL

WEPS -16
=======================================

CUNNINGSTUNTS -12 vs CASEY YANDLE

YANDLE 3rd 4-1
CUNNING 10TH 5-0

GAME OF THE WEEK. WITH THAT SAID, NEITHER
WILL EVER BE AMERICA's TEAM....BUT I MUST
TAKE ONE.....LETS GO
CASEY +12 !

WEEK 6 Pick Em Girl is -----


Newlywed Demi Moore-Kutcher is week 6 SGFFL Pick'em Girl.

Seen here at post victory celebration for the VooDoo with John and Ysabella Saldi.

"I told Ysa that i did not think i would be able to make it, however, being the *ussy whipped boy Ashton is....i simply told him we would have to put the honeymoon on hold....i mean how often do the VooDoo Win ?"

"I look forward to putting Jenna's week 5 picks to shame" "Oh, and for all the SGFFL owners..
Fear the VooDoo Baby !"

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Ian Has been FOUND !


In what can only be called STUNNING ( no relation to cunningstunts )Ian from the Legions has been found. No wonder his team has not won a game, he is a freaking muppet ! What kind of brain can be in charge of the worst team in the league ? One that is nothing but stuffing...that's what.

Story Developing.....

Monday, October 10, 2005

WEEK 5 CUNNINGSTUNTS 5 - 0

Wiz over Viking

Wiz move to 4-1 with the victory
=============================
CPU Destroy Ian


Ian is not only the man of mystery he also is the non-appearingcoach. Does he realize this is a weekly thing ?
=============================

Yandle over Flies

Casey continues his charge towards comeback coach of the year.
==============================
CunningStunts over AC


CS continues its march towards the playoffs, despite a down week this team continues to impress
==============================
VooDoo over WEPS


Acting Team Owner Erica Saldi becomes the first female to power a team to a win in the SGFL
===============================

AVON over ROLFE

Deuce now runs like a moose, avon ladies are in a town does not allow door to door solicitation....its over baby
===============================

FLIPPER beats Bunnies

"eehhh" "eeehhh" they call em flipper, flipper....

================================

EAGLES beat Cherry

Big Ben could be toast, *ouch* had you picked bledsoe this would have been a victory....if wishes were fishes....you would be Flipper and have dubbya

VICTORY FOR VooDoo !!!!


celebratory Victory Bath ! Ysabella Raegan, director of communications and new player development scout celebrates the first victory for YOUR VooDoo ! Seen here, being washed in
champaign by her suspended/in the dog house daddy. As you can tell by her belly she also partook in drinking much champaign.

After being told of the underage drinking laws, Ysabella's mother had John locked up in the wilson county jail. At last report John was seen dialing Joe Fazio. No comment from Mr. Fazio's office when asked if this was a conspiracy to move in on John's wife.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Week 5 Girl Charlize Theron


SGFFL Pick'EM Girl, week 5 is actress Charlize Theron. "I had a call from Heidi Daniel, she expressed just how much Jason had been disappointed that I did not appear in week 4. I understood the Jenna thing, you know, guys love porn stars...but to know that Jason called owners, up until late Friday night, lobbying for me...Well I felt humbled. " When asked to put "PickEm status" next to walking the red carpet...."no comparison, a girl would have to be a fool not to want to take a few minutes to discuss fantasy football" I have a team myself, led by Warrick Dunn and Stephen Jackson....my two favorite running backs...my receiving core includes Larry Fitzgerald...that man can catch anything huh"

Now my picks.........

WEPS -10 VS. VooDoo

You know the old myth, size doesn't matter ? It is NO MYTH. with that said i have a good source that tells me WEP may have a complex, hence the name! This man has no penis, notta, zip, nothing....so he lives out his fantasy with his football team...He isnt endowed, he isnt well, and he has no players. Where as,
the VooDoo have everything a woman could want from a man...just ask Erica.

VooDoo FINALLY WIN +10
--------------------------------------------

ROLFE -18 vs DANIEL AVON LADIES

First, Chris Rolfe I would like to thank you for serving your country. God Bless the men in the military. Second, Jason, GET THEM INTO A WEBEX FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.... I was told that Rolfe has laid out a pregame buffet in the Avon locker room, hoping that AVON will Eat themselves to death prior to game time.
Bad Idea, Jason hit the Pizza Inn buffet on Friday afternoon...no way they can be hungry by sunday.

Give me my favorite fan AVON +18
---------------------------------------------

Fluffy Bunnies -3 vs Dolphins

Dolphin I am also very pissed that you voted jenna over me. For that I am taking the bunny rabbits. Your WR's Suck, AND you have sent us no pictures of the fine women in Miami...or where ever you live in FLA....SHOW US THE BOOBS BUD!

Bunnies -3
-------------------------------------------

EAGLES -5 VS CHERRY

Cherry continues the toughest schedule in the league, Ranked #1 by ESPN.
Lets do the math, 0-4, toughest schedule in the league, vs. 3-1 Eagles..
better hope jake plummer has a bad game...or its 0-5 baby.

Eagles -5

---------------------------------------------

WIZ -15 vs Viking

After raping the countryside for the past few weeks....its time to meet your match.
We like the Great and Powerful OZ.....The one with the Courage of a Lion, Strength of a ScareCrow and the heart of a Tin Man....... By the Way, Who the hell is your # 2 running back viking ?

wiz -15
---------------------------------------------

undefeated Cunning Stunt -36 vs Acadians

Are you kidding me ? I haven't seen such a mis match since Tom Cruise started dating Katie Holmes, This could be as ugly as the RTC Sales Staff, as the number beside john saldi's name on the sales floor this week......could smell like the bathroom after the pizza inn buffet.....

CS - 36
-----------------------------------------------
CPU -22 VS Ian Taylor....

Yep, Britt going to give away another one....umm I mean Ian... The man without an identity....bigfoot is seen more often then Ian, what's the over under on SGFFL Team Presidents being abducted by aliens before we see an actual picture of IAN ?

Give me CPU -22

--------------------------------------------------

CADFLY -2 vs CaseyYandleluckyWitz

Yeah the two most lucky teams in this league, they win despite having crap...
while a loaded, well coached machine like the VooDoo keep losing.
CadFly, next time you go to PizzaInn...bring back some desert pizza why don't ya....you greedy bastard.

Give me THE FLIES -2.....

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Beach Pictures

I want to thank the couple guys who were proud enough to send a picture of their significant other. I received several pictures, however, as I told... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...I did not ask for beer gut belly pictures of guys. Anyhow, here are the wives/girlfriends of your Team Owners...I think we could put together a "Girls of the SGFFL" calendar... As I told the two of you, I will not post names/phone numbers/addresses....Leading off with my wife and the two other women who allowed their husband/guy friend to send their pics...well at least I assume you received permission.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Your Girls


Who is Ian McEachern


scandal in the SGFFL ? Who really shot JFK, Are Aliens Real ? O.J. Guilty ? Hillary a lesbo ? Tom Cruise gay ? Who Really had Tupac and Biggie Smalls Killed ?

At one time these questions galvanized America, today, as first reported here...The next great mystery... We ask, WHO REALLY IS IAN McEACHERN ???

Is he scottish ? british ? part of the IRA ? The IRS ? Live in Maine ? or is he really a Maine Lobster ?


We have hired "In Search Of" legend Leonard Nimoy to investigate.
"Could this man somehow be involved in destroying thehuman race ? or has he morphed into the VicePresident of Sales @ RTC ?? Has he eaten thru this mans head and now controls his brain ?? " I, along with my team will find the truth"

Could he be an altered ego such as

clark kent / superman ??? bruce wayne / batman ??? diana prince / wonderwoman ???
Is he Fact or Fiction ???

If he is not really a man what could he be ??????


As "Spock" seeks the truth we will keep you updated.

Week 4 Highlights,

Cunning 94 VooDoo 94


In a weak way to decide a game your hometown
voodoo get jobbed by the SGFFL, that and a
Dumb*** Fumble by Jake Delhomme cost
America's Team its first victory.
Cunning now becomes the only 4-0 team
in your SGFFL....of course if this had happend to another team we would have cared less....LOL...GG Stunts !!


Viking 118 Jobbers 66


Viking continue to pillage the countryside,
To his credit, at the post game news conference
when asked where he would go from here...
Cherry said the following....
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North,
General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus
Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will
have my vengeance, in this life or the next.


The Fish 96 Avon 80


49'er Defense, you cant stop em you can only hope
to contain em...so 463 yards against and you
get 21 pts ? ouch *that has got to hurt*


FluffyBunnies 92 Rolfe 87


Balanced attack led by the Bengals 17 pt defensive
show.....these bunnies ant so friendly huh


Eagles 100 Wizard 81

stepping from behind the curtain the Great and Powerful OZ...
is nothing but a short fat bald guy...Eagles
Destroy a team that, with all the talent in the world
underachieving. Stunning loss for Spoons army...
As was forecast, on Friday, prior to the game,
in the RTC Lunch Room...The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an
end.


Flies 73 CPU 49


Umm, CPU, ummm the game...the game....their
was a game on sunday...where the hell were you ?
Flies continue to defy logic, no running backs and they
keep winning and winning....


Yandle 117 Legionaires.... 88


Favre and Stephen Davis....wow....56 points...hard
to beat that! It'sInTheGame...comeback team of the
year !


AC 105 Endowed 69


Winless AC Tops a very uninspiring WEP team. When told of the lack of performance Jenna advised WEP to try some viagra next game

jenna goes 5-3 ..... our pick em girls are now 20-12 after 2 weeks


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